Worlds Apart

It got to 6.30pm and I decided to go and sit at the cafe in the Cathedral Square (10 steps from my front door) and catch the evening sunlight over a Trina de Limon (still lemonade). I was getting upset about leaving Spain so I pulled myself together and swept out of my front door. And walked straight into a chicken.

A tall chicken, who said 'Pase Guapa' (after you, gorgeous). There is an election going on with various infuriating cars with loud speakers driving around. However, I have the good fortune to live next door to Los Verdes - the Green Party. They don't drive around obnoxiously with ugly, patronising, fake politicians trying to smile. They have a chicken and a leaflet. They SO have my vote. If I could vote.

I had a brief exchange with the chicken, which is a sentence I never thought I'd write, and continued onto the square.

I am currently re-reading Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince to have it fresh in my mind in time for the sequel in July. I hadn't read any HP books until Christmas 2005. I loved the films (take me away from reality please!) and had been meaning to read the books. I asked for them for Christmas. And I got them. And I read them all, from what appeared to be a playful child's story to dark tragedy. What wonderful stories and characterisation. Such powerful emotion and metaphor. This is what I love about Science Fiction and Fantasy. It highlights the human condition by removing familiar settings. Star Trek was less about exploring Space and more about exploring humanity. It was character driven, as is Harry Potter, and I love that. It is appealing to explore emotions you wouldn't necessarily reach on a day to day basis. To experience an emotional journey with a character in a book or on screen when the scenarios are 'out of this world' feeds the imagination and stimulates a wealth of feelings. It is emotional metaphor - therefore easier to identify with a state of being rather than a situation. It is pure catharsis - as it is with fairy tales. For more on the subject I recommend "The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales". The book examins how fairy tales liberate emotions through metaphor. This was a subject I'd intended to research further academically, but then decided to explore the world first and write about it afterwards, if there's time!


The same with Buffy the Vampire Slayer - one of the best written TV shows I've ever seen (if not the best) with (quite surprisingly) great acting and wonderful character development. The title and idea puts people off I think - it is actually meant to be self-parody and it does it very well, whilst also maintaining enough sincerity to care deeply about the characters. The script moves so fast with pop-culture references and puns that actually, you need to see it more than once to get it (especially if you have trouble hearing the Californian accent and the words which are all too often swallowed). It also includes the single best hour of television I've ever seen. Joss Whedon (the creator who is an exceptionally talented man, also affiliated with 'Equality Now' - a feminist movement) wrote the episode called The Body. I've never been so affected by a piece of TV.

After watching Buffy for such a long time, I find it very difficult to tolerate poor television (which is why I don't have one) but also to watch female characters always and forever being 'in-relation-to a man'. The girlfriend, the mother, the daughter, the witch, the virgin, blah blah blah. Or there's the career woman who's dying inside because she's single. I'm none of those things yet I still exist. I work, I survive, I struggle, I have my adventures, I have my relationships. But I'm not second fiddle to anyone. i come from a family of strong independent women. I once said to a colleague at work that since my Mum's death I've felt like I'm the King of my world - no-one above me anymore, or even by my side. I'm responsible for everything. He said, 'don't you mean Queen?'. Clearly he failed to see the metaphor. A King out-ranks a Queen. Am I so alone in seeing through gender? My Sister recently said to me that there are more differences within the sexes than between them. I think she's right. I for one do not intend to be restricted by mine, as far as nature will allow. I think the media and its representations needs serious scruntiny.

Anyway. Buffy. Started out rather 2 dimensionally and then became something fresh and invigorating and I think it was partially before its time. A female hero. A long way away from perfection of course - she was blonde and thin and saved the world wearing high-heels, but it's the first time you see a leading female character who is surviving almost entirely independently. It is also the first time you see a female character standing up for herself without being smacked down for being out of line. It is also the first time that the men are cast in-relation-to the female and the male characters fall by the way side. Interesting.

If someone asked me what my ideal part would be, I would answer, James T Kirk. A greek hero with every kind of adventure and experience! Or Buffy if I knew Tai Kwon Do. Someone who fights alone. Like I do and so many others do too. There are plenty of Shakespearean roles I would also love. Most of them are the male roles because they're more interesting. I have better things to do than flap across in stage in a pretty dress going 'He loves me! Oh no he doesn't. Oh in that case I think I'll go mad and kill myself.' Fiona Shaw (as it would happen, currently playing Aunt Petunia in the HP films) has played a Shakespearean King. I can but hope that I could play a person rather than a romantic element. The feminist in me is crawling up the walls at this point. But acting as a profession can never be fair or have equal rights. It could do a lot more for women, but I fear it is a way off from becoming a fair play ground. For instance - Boston Legal. Cleverly written, acted very well by the two male leads, who are not pin-ups. But all the women look as though they've spent 100 years in make-up and all but disappear when they turn sideways. The last time I saw it, it actually jarred me completely and destroyed the realism. I'm so sick of it. America is appalling for such things (Hollywood I mean), whereas the UK is more relaxed about how thin/beautiful an actress has to be. For me, I fear my hips will dictate a career restricted to theatre. I wouldn't have a problem with that because I love theatre, but I resent being limited because I am not thin. Anyone who says that this discrimination doesn't exist is unrealistic or lying. I have in front of me an application for drama school. On the front page, it asks for height and weight and a full length photo, to be assessed before you even get an audition. Nice.

Anyway, that's my rant. Let's go back to the cafe where I was pleasantly reading my book in the sunshine whilst the chicken talked to pedestrians.

I was sipping my drink when a clearly not Spanish girl asked me a question in Spanish. She ended up joining me at my table and we spoke for two hours in a mixture of Spanish, French and English. (She was French). It's so lovely to meet people - she too has come here alone to try something new. She has a work placement and she's securing accommodation. I'm going to help her before I leave. If it's one thing I absolutely adore about speaking languages, it's the motive. I haven't heard bad language (well, except from my English friend Steve when he's driving and trying to avoid insane Spanish drivers...they drive how they like - there are no rules!) for months. Every attempt at communication has a beautiful motive - to communicate! A primal human thing to do. You end up being a lot more physical as you gesture your way through a conversation. You end up showing off your sense of humour when you fail to get the right word or mis-pronounce something and say something embarrassing, but the over-all nature is to get to know each other. To get alone. To connect. You make more of an effort.

She was delightful and it was so nice just to sit there at a cafe in the sun chatting to a complete stranger. If only the world could be like this everywhere. Strangers reaching out instead of shutting themselves away.

I read today about events in the Lebanon. 'The bloodiest internal conflict since the civil war ended 17 years ago'. I cannot understand this at all. I don't understand why people kill each other, though if I'd lived there and had everything torn away from me I may well be doing the same thing. I don't know. I'm too ignorant and niave to comprehend. But this is another reason I love to hide in the Scifi genre. It speaks of hope - for the world, for humanity. I have to have hope and I'm glad I'm somewhere where I can have it - where I'm not surrounded by despair. Of course, I hope it soon ends with minimal loss of life (although there's already been a great deal) so that the civilians can live in peace, but selfishly I also hope that my army ex-students who are posted in Lebanon (from the United Nations peace core of the Spanish army who I taught here in Madrid until March this year) are somewhere safe. They're probably no-where near the trouble, but it's the first thing you think of.

Quite a contrast to sitting at a cafe in the sun, reading a story.