I then switched off the alarm clock (which is my mobile phone) with a glare. The contraption asked me if I wanted to turn the phone on. In my blurry disgruntled haze I selected 'yes'. What a mistaker to maker. Two SMSs. One from my friend who's started smoking again due to the 'b*stard boyfriend', and one from a family member. I replied to my friend and advised that re-starting smoking is bad. Quit the boyfriend and get back on the wagon to avoid cancer. Then I moved on to my family member. Who managed to phrase something so badly (and that's generous because it wasn't phrased badly, it was just bad), that my fairly manageable grumpiness then became...... Greek. As in tragedy, not salad. You know when you do something and you anticipate or expect a certain negative response from a family member? You know that if they actually come out with that response it may just kill you? You've dreaded that moment for weeks. You've avoided that moment for weeks. You go to some length to soften the inevitable. You draw courage (from somewhere) and confront the issue, nipping it in the bud. All seems settled for a while and you begin to think, "I was hasty. I was unfair. I shouldn't have expected such a response because, actually they're being fine." And then... BINGO. The worst possible thing she could have said. In a text message. First thing in the morning when A) It's too early to call that person and B) I have to teach.
So with this dismissive, insulting guilt trip to start my day, I decided to fight it every step of the way and attempt to re-balance myself.
I stepped happily out of my front door into the rather nippy yet sunny morning. "Thank goodness it has begun to warm up in the day" I thought to myself.
After my first class of 3 hours, (bloody long time. and is it OK to tell off a student for continuously answering their mobile phone in my lesson when they're 30 years older than me? Grrrrrr.) I stepped back out in the 26 degree sunny day and thought, "Really must get myself some sun glasses" and imagined having the kind of figure where you can actually wear a bikini without feeling like a mangled corpse. I popped home, tried to phone the offending person, having sent two SMS replies both which stated quite clearly that I love her very much, but I'd appreciate it if she didn't send/write things like that to me. Couldn't get through on the telephone. So I cried for an hour which didn't help and I went back to my mental image of the mangled corpse. (Self esteem, ain't it great!). It will blow over. She hit a nerve. Not difficult. With our personalities it's the equivalent of a bumble bee in a playground. The scary bumble bee never means it but the children will cry.
I then went merrily on my way to my second 3 hour stint (really bloody long time. Is the verb 'to go' that difficult???) at a local company. When I left at 4pm, I thought, "Ooooh, those clouds look nasty" (bit like me, grouchy old cow). I waited for the bus, hoping that after yesterday's random downpour at the same time that I wouldn't have to repeat my action of getting on the wrong bus and staying on it just to keep dry. (I had ended up in the wrong side of town, but the sun was out by that time so I just walked home.) It stayed dry, I got on the right bus home, and got off it.
At this point, and I mean literally as I stepped off the bus, the heavens opened, there was a blinding flash and the loudest noise I have ever heard in my life crashed through my sleepy Spanish town and I almost hit the floor. Hail storm. It's such an inadequate title. The opposite of an onomatopoeia. The sky went charcoal as white, frozen balls came at me from all angles, as well as torrential rain. The claps of thunder and vivid flashes continued. I tried to run but I haven't done it since 1986 and my knees wouldn't work. A nice old man in a doorway offered me his umbrella as I dashed past him and I said "no gracias" thinking, there's LIGHTNING and I don't need a metal conductor right now. I ran across a road, ignoring the red man and glaring at people in their warm, dry cars who looked put-out and swore at the person making them wait in their warm, dry cars for an extra 5 seconds while she ran desperately (lurched) out of the lightening thunder and hail storm and up to the relative safety of her flat.
What's going on??? Is God angry with me or my family member? Do I need to sacrifice a chicken? IT'S SPAIN. I'M MEANT TO BE ON A BEACH. IF I WANTED RAIN I WOULD HAVE STAYED IN ENGLAND. Which, incidentally, is currently experiencing lovely, sunny days of 26 degrees in a freak good-weather front that has lasted for about two weeks.
Maybe I'm being punished. Does self flagellation include eating excessive amounts of doughnuts? I mean, it's gotta hurt, at some point. Maybe if I punish myself with doughnuts I won't have to suffer this weather. Only problem is, doughnuts live a mile away and it's hailing (on all frequencies, damn it!)
It's a bit Jane Eyre. In the book, the weather reflects the emotions and what-have-you of Jane Eyre. Am I a hail storm today? I thought I was more of a drizzling grey afternoon with the occasional gust of wind. Of course there is a chance that the weather has nothing to do with me whatsoever and that nothing I'm thinking or feeling is in the least bit important, and it's just a geological thing. You mean I'm not at the centre of the Universe? Oh. (Phew. What a relief. I can stay in my corner, grumbling. Yay!)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
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