My letter home

A month ago I finally got a landline installed following a few weeks of settling in, at which point I sent this email to family and friends:

Hello people,

After some extremely interesting times with no phone, no electricity and a delightful re-occuring mutating flu-like virus which has left me a stone lighter and scarred by hallucinations, I finally have a telephone number.

It is: **************. Para me casa!

I also have the internet at home which makes life infinitely easier.

You can contact me therefore, from 7pm (GMT) tonight (I have to go and buy a telephone now!) should you be so inclined.

All good here. I'm teaching the Spanish military advanced English conversation so they can help maintain peace in the Lebanon. They're going in March to make sure Lebanon is fulfilling its obligations to the UN and to help generally, with the peace organisation ONU. I suggested taking fairy cakes. The Major suggested taking Jesus. And then he suggested that I also realise that Jesus is the only truth, as is Catholicism. We then spent some time on theology and ethics and US foreign policy before I got bored and asked them to tell me where I should take Jo (my sister) when she visits. I have the names of some very good veggie restaurants and salsa bars! Maybe Jesus can join us.

It's cold and wet so I'm glad I packed my swimming costume. I'm learning a great deal of Spanish through utter necessity. I can now say, "When is the electricity cable being replaced and why is it hanging off the wall?", "my clothes are stuck in the washing machine", "I missed the bus", "I didn't get off the bus", "This is a police station. Why the &%^^%$ don't you have a photocopier?", "Will you please tell me when to get off the bus," "That Romanian ran off with it", and best of all, "If this is a vegetarian dish, why is there a pig on my plate?". Oh and then there's the health side of things, "I can't sleep or eat, I'm freezing and boiling and I keep having conversations with my dead mother". The reply? "Have you tried hot lemon?" Honestly!

But it's great out here. Having a good time. Job is fascinating. Hours are fabulous. My little flat is nice (when the heating and lights work) and I start a job with the British Council in 2 weeks that's attached to the historical University here. When the weather picks up things should be super.

Hope you are all keeping well. I look forward to hearing voices (preferably not in a delusional fever this time).

Ciao! xxxxx

I've since received a grand total of 4 phone calls (2 that night) in a month after I was practically bullied into getting a landline by people who wanted to call me. *Scowls at the phone*. Oh well!